you know you need help,

when the pigs get called on you.

i'm doing it for a thrill.

Last night, laying in bed had the most serene atmosphere ever.

Laying back, blowing smoke rings into the light refelecting off my phone as I wrote.

All I wanted was you.

And I finally got you. Good things come to those who wait, right? Well I waited a somewhat tiring 12 months, and here you are. And there I was, shaking in my non existant boots that you were going to let me go quicker than I could say don't. I don't quite know what you see in me that has brought you to hold on to me ever so tightly, but p

lease keep holding, I adore it.

I sat on that train on the 1st of August, as nervous as anything, replaying over and over in my mind whether or not to run through the train do

ors and leap into your arms or just casually walk upto you and keep my cool with a simple hello. Meanwhile, I was doing my best to try and hide the stupid smile on my face from other people sitting around me. So I arrived, and I couldn't hold back, and finally felt you wrapped up in my arms, just without the overjoyed leap. Although, my stomach was doing backflips when I heard your voice. I was so content with walking by your side. I couldn't restrain from making a fool of myself, of course. Cracking stupid jokes and one liner's here and there. Anybody would fall overthemselves around of person of such grace.

I held you close to me all night, and those momen

ts before my lps finally touched yours, I could have sworn my heart stopped. My breathing was out of whack, I was trying to stay as silent as I could with my heart racing at such a pace. Your skin was so soft against mine, I was sitten. I don't recall not having that smae stupid smile spread across my face.

As soon as your were out of sight, everywhere I went, I walked with a skip in my step. You were constantly on mine mind, everyday that passed without you I was just picturing that traffic stopping smile in my mind. It's so easy to be happy when I know I have you.

I'm still so blinded by the fact that you're mine, I'm yours. We're each others. You are so incredible, your smile, your eyes, the way you hold yourself, your gentle voice and touch, your constant reassurance, you are everything. I will not let you go, I promise.

xo

4 days gone.

And I've spent them all at this house. There's something apart from the fact that it's my boyfriend's house, that makes me not want to leave.

It must be the atmosphere, the people, the love. This family is what family's are supposed to be. The laughs, the hugs, the 'togetherness'.

I wish my family back home were like this, then I wouldn't not want to face them all the time.

I feel I'm putting Lisa out though, I should probably go home tomorrow.

my heads aching.

probably because i slept from 3:30am - 3:30pm, no exxageration.

i have nothing important to say, other than my breakfast was the best thing ever.

I'm digging graves for you in my sleep.

And with that, my last cigarette is gone.
I'm hesitant to sleep, as per usual after me and him part. I hate sleeping alone, without his arms wrapped tight around me, without feeling his breathing on the back of my neck, without his fingers tangled in mine..

Without another word, she drifted off into her dreams.

swing life away.

the best invention, ever.

I get used to nom'ing these all day.

properly start with a bang, shall we?

So this is me. The girl who keeps changing her hair colour, cause she can't change anything else.

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So, I thought it may be a good idea to start actually blogging on this and not posting one sentence lyrics from songs I'm listening to at the time.
I'm sitting here, with ice cold hands, and struggling to type.. Even though it's meant to be spring, it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. I hate spring. Go away.

The last few months have been some of the most eventful, sporadic months I've lived in a long time. I feel like I'm healing, and I love it.
That makes me sound like a wanker. /Sheesh.

And if one more pop up about funeral cover comes on my screen, I may have to resort to throwing this piece of shit ass technology out the window.



______________________________________________

My life.




These are my boys. The one under the blanket, that you can't see, is my boyfriend, Brenden. One of the most amazing people in my life without a doubt. The other. is Lachlan. He's the truest of true friends, and I know he's got my back.

This is Holly. One of my most favourite girls. She gives me breakfast in bed, constant reassurance, and holds my hand while I sleep. She makes me feel safe.

Lachlan wanted to suprise the pizza guy.

Only cause people complain that I never look at the camera when I take 'cliche myspace photos' of myself. There you go.

Pia Cincotta. I apologise now if I spelled your last name wrong. She's been one to laugh with, and as much as I hate not seeing her these days, I love her still.

Krystal, one of my closest friends for 14 years and counting. Primary school, high school, and tafe we've spent together. I have more memories with this girl than anybody else. From inflicting pain on ourselves by tripping ourselves over on concrete to get out of class in year 4, to wagging tafe classes to try on dresses and take ridiculous amounts of photos of ourselves. I love you.

Alena, my babygirl. My guardian, my strength, my little sister. nobody is there as much as she is, and I couldn't ask for more. No need to elaborate, she knows how much she means.

I miss my mouse.

Such a good dude. He wears kilts at weddings in Scotland.

Kirtsy Lee Cox. She knows how much I rip on her and give her shit. But she also knows how much I love her. She never breaks a promise.

Wow. Rachel Louise Greenwood. Ex housemate, but still a close friend. She protected me for months on end, forking our her own money so she could support not only herself, but me aswell. We've been through thick and thin, good and bad, and then worst. But she's still a gem in my mind, definatley one of the strongest, most independant girls I know. I learnt alot from her and her wisdom. I miss you.

Phillip Radu Serban. My best friend, my brother, my saviour.
Words can't explain.
Permantley by my side.

The old days, the emo and stereotypical as fuck days. But the happy ones.

Rose's house. 1st - 4th of October 2009. A weekend full of bud, beats and babes. One I won't forget.

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I assumed that this blog will turn out better than it has.

My bad.

So for now, over and out.