well,

"I just find it strange that he comments you when he doesn't think much of you."

it honestly baffles me, how often your mood changes.
i love you, but there's only so much someone can take.

~

making people laugh, is definately the best feeling in the entire world.

i have come to realise that human interactions are lies. do we not speak to others simply so we can tell them how great we are? and of all the so called amazing things we've done? and when we listen to others, do we not simply wait for them to finish so we can do exactly the same thing? so whats the point in telling someone how great you are when they never really care? and love... does anyone ever really think about what it means? i have been yet to be convinced there is a such thing. i have only found pain, let down, and entrapment. we "love" simply to gain the comfort of others, and to give comfort to others to make us feel better about ourselves. you can say that you truly want to help another, but dont you only do it to receive the praise of being a savior in their eyes? so you can rob them of their innocence and call them your own? a rather selfish concept. sure, the whole thinking behind it is that both partners are giving each other comfort evenly, so its fair. hahahaha its never even. what a fucking joke. the more distant someone is, the more the other feels a desire for the others comfort, but that someone is so distant in the first place because they cant stand the overwhelming need of the other for comfort. its such a vicious cycle. there is not such thing as a "perfect couple," only a perfect mismatch, which only results in a "love/hate" relationship. love also brings guilt to those who are too nice. those who do not have the ability to hurt others could get stuck with someone they hate for life, simply because they know their partner wouldn't cope without them. they stay with them out of the guilt of the pain they will cause the them by not being there. is love then not unfair for putting such a curse on someone? why do people put so much effort into their "morality" when deep down, they only want sex and comfort. i never gave in to such a fucking ridiculous cycle. i've learned to find comfort in my own company. id rather sit alone and think about all of the things wrong with this world, than go out with people only to be bombarded by their meaningless, intangible triumphs.

LIWYMOT

Life is what you make of it.

24/01/92 - 27/12/09

Happy 18th birthday kid.

Mewithoutyou

would be a fucking world i'd despise.
you have been there through so much more in the last couple of months than most people have been in their entire lifetimes to date.
my sister, my all, my light, my hope.
preeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure, that you and me are meant to be. cause whatever this bond is that we have, and we're continually working at to strengthen, keeps me leaping back to you like a dog tied to a tree.

you've held me up and held me up high at that, and i cannot even decipher into words how grateful i am of your ongoing encouragement and reassurance, that i am something great. we are something greater.

you are seriously, the most breath takingly beautiful young woman i have laid these blue eyes upon.
inside and outside, every attribute you hold and put forward that shows people the kind of person you are, leaves me in awe everytime.
i'm actually really scared this will delete itself, so i'm keeping it short and sweet.
you know how much you mean to me, you know i'm here to stay.

i will always, be here. no matter what.
nothing will come between this sisterhood we've created and we're working on. nobody.
this is a promise, i'll always keep.
elle, i adore you. i aspire to be like yourself. i love you.

What I want,

is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.

All I want.

Bury the castle.

My sanctuary, my abode, my comfort.

I could spend all my days here, and I'd be happy.